Lethal Dose
by aliasfan
Summary: [ONESHOT][Riku's POV]They perform tests on me night and day, trying to come up with a reason for why I’m like this. There is a simple reason that they’ll never understand. It is the darkness…


**AN:** I've had little tidbits of this one-shot written for months. I only had a couple lines, and I was starting to make it a poem, but I just couldn't come up with anything for it. Then today when I found the sheet of paper with everything written on it, I just starting writing about it, and it slowly evolved into the one-shot you are about to read. I really appreciate all the reviews I have been getting lately, so I just want to say a quick thank you to everyone! And again, I don't own anything.

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**:Lethal Dose:**

_**Riku's P.O.V.**_

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Tell me, what will cure this sickness? This disease that has swelled up inside of me? I can feel my body being taken over by a parasite, one that has infested the lives of people who were engulfed in the darkness. They walk around, pretending it's not there, trying to lead normal lives, but deep down inside they know they cannot escape the truth. I cannot escape the truth. The truth that no one wants to hear, especially at the young age of sixteen…

_You're dying…_

Slowly but surely they always say. Yet I wish it would go by faster. I just want everything to be over with already! I'm tired of being diseased; I'm tired of having the doctors fawn over me. I'm constantly in the hospital, not because I'm just another sick patient. I'm more than that.

_No, I'm less than that. I'm an experiment…_

No doctor can explain what is happening to me. They can't understand why a human like me can live…without a heart…_If only they knew that I'm not…human…_

How _can_ I be after what's been done to me? The monsters that deceived me a year ago have eventually turned me into a monster as well. They are like snakes that bite people and inject their poison in. Maybe the effects aren't immediate, but sooner or later, that poison begins to drain that person until they're dead. It will be the same for me.

The doctors…they'll never know. All those years of schooling, yet they'll never be smart enough to tell me what is happening to me. They can't explain why, but they try.

Like I said, I'm just an experiment. I'm just Riku, the boy every doctor wants to get their hands on. They perform tests on me night and day, trying to come up with a reason for why I'm like this. There is a simple reason that they'll never understand. _It is the darkness…_

I know the doctors can't wait for me to die so they can rip me open and examine me more. _They're no better than the Heartless…_

They tried to perform surgery on me many times, but to no avail. "Let's see if this boy's body will accept a heart." They say. The heart transplant was a failure. My body didn't accept it. Don't they know that the body builds up an immune system? My body rejected the heart because it saw it as a foreign object or parasite. It's funny though, that my body doesn't recognize the very parasite that is already inside me. It's funny alright, but not enough to make me laugh…

_I wonder…if my body rejected the heart, does that mean that it will also reject love?_ Love has become so foreign to me…that maybe when someone tries to love me, I will reject them. My body will be so filled with hate and darkness that it will reject any and all love. I don't intend to find out if this is true.

To have someone fall in love with me would be like a girl proclaiming her love to a man who's going to commit suicide on top of a building. _That girl can love him all she wants, but it won't change the fact that he's going to jump._

I hate this…I hate being in this hospital. People try to send me flowers and cards that say 'Get Well Soon'. I always send them back, telling them that I don't need their sympathy. They're just wasting their time and money. A million 'Get Well Soon' cards won't help cure me any faster, or cure me at all for that matter, so why bother?

Many people come to me with questions, asking me why I didn't get any shots beforehand. Shots are given to people who want to become immune and ward themselves against a certain disease or sickness. I tell them that no shot can guard the human heart from darkness. _I am the living, or rather, dying proof of that._

I guess I was just one of the unlucky ones. I hear about those junkies who overdose on pills and end up killing themselves. After they take those pills, there's no medicine that can fix what has been done. It's too late to go back. I guess I'm the same.

_I took a lethal dose of darkness._

In the end, it will kill me. Nothing can save me now. All I can say is that this is my fate. When this virus completely takes its hold on me, I will die…my inevitable future. Those patients on waiting lists for lung or heart transplants…they're lucky. At least they have hope that one day they will be saved. But for me, I know what will happen to me. Nothing will change that. _There is no waiting list of hope for me…_

_After the doctors and scientists have fun playing with my insides, I'll either be thrown into the ground, into the dirt where I belong…or I'll be cremated, burned until there's nothing left but ashes that will be scattered into the wind, never to be heard of again…_


End file.
